This post has been lying around in the drafts long enough and I thought I’d complete it and let it see the light of the day. Also ‘cos I have nothing else to do until my simulation runs. That should take a clear 45 min until I see green-blue-red teeny waveforms that look like centipedes crawling through my screen!
[I bet you thought the title meant something else. Ah! Well then, that too :D]
As if I haven’t said enough about myself here already, am gonna say some more. Just one more outrageously candid thing and I will be done.
A few days ago (I think it was during diwali), I sat down with a bunch of my relatives to watch one of my cousin sister’s wedding video from 4-5 years ago (now, why would anyone do that? Simple, cos we are the Lakshminarayanans. Comes with the product). In retrospect I think that was an insane waste of time which involved some stupendous amounts of self loath among the ladies who’ve magically put on 10 kilos since (the wedding) or lost scary amounts of hair (again, since the wedding). But nothing was good enough to take away my thunder. It was so pronounced (my act in the video) that it took off everybody’s woes away in a jiffy like some magic spell and was very painfully and permanently replaced with the memory of “my act”.
Now what was my “act”, you are wondering, am sure?
My dance skills.
Was I bad? Nosir. I was just SO bad that I think a couple people almost got a heart attack watching me and some of them might of thought I was having Epilepsy. I might have gained some sympathy there. But am pretty sure all of them gave my parents the what-in-world-have-you-given-birth-to look. Atleast during that video watching session at home, some of my relatives did.
You see, it wasn’t all my fault. No, really. It was the result of a grand tradition called “maapilai azhaippu” (son-in-law calling) and the full-size mirror in my bathroom and of course some misplaced self worth.
Before I get into the details of the horror, I have to touch upon this mirror of mine. It is an important evidence to prove the premise that it wasn’t all my fault.
The mirror is.the.single.greatest.thing my dad has ever done. It is a tall full-sized mirror from Belgium, no less, that stands tall in my bathroom. Now why would we have it in the bathroom and not in the dressing room? I am not addressing that. But it was (is) real fun. I saw myself growing up – quite literally. From an awkward big-nosed bony girl to a slightly taller, but still big-nosed bony teenager and finally to an hour-glass figure (this is the high on self worth part) 25 year-old. It is where I practiced my moves (dance), gave my speeches, cried my eyes out and heck even tried cat-walk among other things.
So yeah, I basically practiced my dance moves before the “maapilai azhaippu” with extreme josh. I am almost quite sure I must have danced like the Sheila-ki-jawani in front of the mirror. Besides, we were expecting a lot of crowd that day. I didn’t expect people to notice me. But turns out, that stupid video grapher caught all my moves for a full 20 minutes complete with me trying in vain to dance next to a random-ridiculously-handsome guy who didn’t even know I was dancing next to him. Talk about bullying.
Now you understand don’t you, you gentle reader?
Anyway, the Diwali ended in many laughs.